


An Unfortunate Collection of Soulmates and Other Valid Relationships

by I_was_here_once



Series: A Series of Drabbles [3]
Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, And thats ok, Anger, Angst, Asexuality, Awkward Conversations, Emotional Manipulation, Gustav and Monty have a happy relationship, Kit makes the hard decisions, Life doesn't work out the way we think it should, Mental bonds, Moving on with your life, Multi, Sadness, Tags will be updated as needed, The breaking of mental bonds, mentions of abuse, multipe pairings, nine chapters already planned but I will probably think of more, not all of them are connected, open relationsips, societal judgement, there will be more chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 05:20:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14585823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_was_here_once/pseuds/I_was_here_once
Summary: Soulmates don't make the world any less dark and dreary. I urge you to find some better reading.





	1. The Division of Souls (Kit/Olaf)

Kit finds a quiet place to hide first. Olaf is in a quiet space in the corner of her mind. An uneasy sense of creeping dread is already beginning to take ahold in his still drunk mind. Kit knows once she starts to sever the bond, Olaf will be frantic to reach her.

She finds herself at odds with herself on this issue as well. Cutting off a limb is disturbing and painful. The body resists being parted from itself. How much worse can it be to do it to your own soul? There are no surgeons who can separate souls, no anesthesia to use, no alcohol that can numb the painful tear of what was once stitched together. Kit will leave a little bit of her soul with Olaf, but that’s okay. She will take some of his soul with her- a crutch to remind her of the loss.

And it is so easy for souls to reunite. The pain of loss never goes away, and like magnets, souls tend to gravitate towards each other. It could all be for nothing but Kit knows Olaf will kill her.

Kit knows Olaf. She knows how he likes his tea. She knows his favorite poems. She knows how his eyes shine and how his fingers always find hers. She knows his thoughts. She knew, in the back of the taxi, when he found out her parents died.

She knows Olaf doesn’t play with fire. He is fire. He takes the good and the noble and he consumes it. He scorns ideology and knowledge. He sees and makes her see the world in shades of grey. He mocks and belittles her.

That didn’t use to bother her.

Now though, with the guilt clawing on her insides, she finds she can not stomach the idea. She knows the rage and hatred burning in Olaf. She is slowly waiting for him to discover who killed his parents.

And who delivered the darts.

There will be no forgiveness for her. There will be no mercy. She would have instead cut out her own heart than betray Olaf, but she did. She was content with a man who was on the edge of acceptable morality.

He has already traveled far from it.

The rest of the organization may think Olaf is just grieving, but Kit knows. Olaf will have his revenge, and he will destroy himself and the organization in the process.

She hides in a bank. It is a little vault area, Jacquelyn arranged it for her. Jacquelyn does not ask why, assuming, perhaps, Kit had a noble purpose. Kit absently wonders how many time she did evil because she did not question other members. She also wonders, how many of those same members would condemn her for what she is about to do. How many members will blame Kit Snicket, when Olaf shows his true colors to the world.  She curls up in a corner, wrapping her arms around her knees. The room is clean and stark. It is well organized and cold.

Kit presses her forehead to her knees. Mentally, she caresses the bond. She feels along the frayed bits. She strokes the stronger links. Olaf responds, and it feels as if he is in the room with her. She almost feels his thumbs brush her cheekbones. She feels his presence curve over her. Protective. Possessive. She was the last right thing, the last true thing in his life. She senses a heartbeat in time with hers.

She caresses the bond one last time.

And then she tears it apart.

She takes the stronger bits first, tearing herself away from Olaf. She digs into the small stitches of shared interest and tugs till her soul separates, little bitty pieces at a time. The bonds of danger and triumph snap. The cords of love fray before snapping them apart. They are the last to go, and the hardest to cut through.

Olaf is screaming, she is sure. She knows she is. Her body is whole, but she could swear she smells blood. Olaf’s desperation and despair beat upon her psych, what was once a constant and loud beat growing fainter and fainter.  Kit finds her own presence seems to fill her head, like a single person in an empty auditorium that used to have rumbling crowds. Silence echoes in her head. She has not been alone in her head since she was twelve.

Kit faints.

She wakes to Jacquelyn wiping a washcloth across her face. The smell of bleach permeates the air. Jacquelyn doesn’t need to ask what Kit Snicket did. What Kit Snicket did was unforgivable. They don’t talk as Kit stumbles out of the bank.  Jacquelyn locks the doors behind her. Kit stumbles down the streets, not sure of where she goes.

Lemony finds her first. He doesn’t ask questions, just pulls her out of the rain. He places his hat on her head and wraps his coat around her shoulders. He then picks her up and jogs to a nearby taxi. He slides her into the backseat, the cloth of the coat catching on the leather of the seat. He gets in the front and drives.

Kit starts sobbing about halfway to the old Snicket safehouse. Little hitching sobs and silent wailing. Lemony starts reciting poetry. Any poetry her can think of. By the time he gets to Jacques, standing on the front porch of a ramshackle townhouse, Kit has calmed down. She can walk herself up the steps and into her twin ’s arms. He holds her against him.

“Olaf came here first. He was frantic. He was worried you were dead or insensible.”

Kit feels herself stir. The anger and frustration and the sadness chasing out the sad numbness.

Jacques senses this and does not say anything more.

Lemony is the one who points out the next move. “We need to get you out of town; the organization will be hunting you. They will either have you committed or try to get you to reunite you, souls.”

“He will kill me before he reunites with me.” Kit says, and her brothers look at her. There is a dawning horror in Jacques’ eyes and a weary understanding in Lemony’s.

“Sleep tonight.” The practical part of Jacques says, moving them off the porch, “We will hide you in the morning. The Baudelaire and the Denouncements have always been a friend to the Snickets. He won’t find you.”

Kit laughed. Hysterical and high.

“Olaf will come for all of us in the end. He will just save me for last.”


	2. Jacquelyn knows exactly who her soulmate is (Jacquelyn Scieszka/Esme Squalor)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jacquelyn knows exactly who her soulmate is

Jacquelyn knows exactly who her soulmate is.

Well, she has it narrowed down to an address.

She is pretty sure she developed a proto-bond with someone back when she was being trained under Ike Anwhistle. It only takes a touch to start the bonding process. Jacquelyn has been trying to track them down ever since. Well, Jacquelyn waited till she was finished with her training.

She thinks the bond gets stronger when she is close. When she moved to the city, it felt like the bond strengthened, like when a washer being put on a screw. It was not all the way on, but.there is still a connection.  Jacquelyn could feel a sense of conniving, and a razor-sharp wit.

So Jacquelyn borrows a map from the Quagmires. Every day she has off, she walks up and down a street. She keeps notes. She pushes the feeling of Looking in the bond. She keeps records on her progress.

In the beginning, Jacquelyn only received _Anger_ in return for her feelings. Jacquelyn understands. She wishes that she had recognized when they had met. She was so exhausted during her training, but she should have been able to tell. She won’t give up, the other half of her soul is out there, and she is going to beg their forgiveness. They would only be whole if they were together, and Jacquelyn was going to make it happen.  As Jacquelyn continued to look, day after day, she started to receive _hurt_. She sends back _sorry, so sorry, didn’t mean to ignore them_. Guilt seems to overwhelm Jacquelyn somedays. A few days later she starts receiving playful feelings in return for her efforts. _Can you find me? You are close. Wrong direction, sweetheart_.

The day the sugar bowl was stolen, Jacquelyn was in a meeting with Gustav, M., R., and L. She was fine until she felt _RAGE, BETRAYAL, SADNESS,_ and _OUTRAGE_. She felt her knees give out from underneath her. Gustav catches her and Montgomery hurries over to check her pulse. The soulmates lay her down on the floor, and the Duchess pulls her head into her lap.

It hurts.

Her head hurts. And there is a sinking feeling in her stomach, despair in her chest. She doesn’t know if it is her or her soulmate that feels this way. She can’t separate the emotions.

She can’t breathe.

She starts hyperventilating, and her associates sit her up and put her head between her knees. They are talking to her she knows, but she can’t hear, can’t understand.

_What’s wrong?_ Jacquelyn hopes she sends out none of the panic, but from the instant muffling of the feelings, she knows she doesn’t succeed. For the first time since the bond formed, she feels the full weight of her soulmates regard.

_I must have overwhelmed you. The presence is definite in her head. Sweetheart, you need to breathe. In, out, in out. I can feel your heart beat, can you feel mine? Breath in every seven beats._

Jacquelyn calms.

_I am afraid things are going to be a bit messy soon. Her soulmate sends. It is a pity; I was hoping you would find me. It is just another thing I’ll have to blame [Betrayal, hatred, sadness, loss] for._

Jacquelyn sends _Question_. Her breathing is regulated, and the volunteers around her seem to understand something is going on.

_Something has happened. I have contingencies, but you are not a part of them. I am afraid we must part ways. I won’t break the bond, I am not cruel. However, I will not acknowledge you if we meet._

Jacquelyn chokes. _No. You can’t.._

Her soulmate seems to laugh at her. _I certainly can. I am rather fond of you. You are extraordinarily tenacious. However, I would bet [important] we will be working at cross-purposes. I have not begrudged your ambitions. You will not get in my way with mine. Soulmates are not everything darling. If you thought they were you would have come after me the moment you noticed the bond, but you didn’t, this could have all been avoided if you had chosen me over your ambition, you can not be shocked the other half of your soul would do the same._

_Goodbye, my dear._

And the presence left, with only the tiniest connection.

Jacquelyn didn’t speak for a while after that. She still roamed the city. One day she watched a couple enter 667 Dark Avenue. She felt the bond pulse. Recognition. The couple was handsome, they seemed very much in love if Jacquelyn didn’t know one of them was playing the other falsely. Her soulmate must have noticed her and sent soothing feelings towards her.

All Jacquelyn felt was despair. 

So Jacquelyn went to work.

She organized Mr. Poe’s entire vault and office. She volunteered for Gustav’s films. She took up boxing. Jacques trained her in some of the more important literary works.

She makes friends with Larry. Larry helps a lot. He grabs her hand and squeezes when Jacquelyn’s soulmate’s emotions leak through the bond. Larry doesn’t have a soulmate. He works hard and does well anyway. He goes on dates, and he has lasting friendships.

Jacquelyn wants to be like Larry.

Larry is also the one Jacquelyn talks to when the guilt and the shame become too much. Larry sits and listens about Jacquelyn’s search and the result of her mistakes.

Larry is the first one to tell Jacquelyn it is not her fault. He is not the last.

The next day, Lemony Snicket comes to see her. He tells her about his soulmates. He has three of them. He talks about the work that goes into a relationship, all the sacrifices he made for the relationships. He talks about all the times he sacrificed the relationships. He talks about how all his soulmates are married. One of them to a man who is not a soulmate.  He talks about a daughter he can’t see and a soulmate who won’t speak to him. He talks about how hard it is to get up every day, how he and two of his soulmates are overwhelmed with longing, but cannot meet.

He also tells her, that these decisions were made together. That they meet and tried. Each of them gave their all to a relationship built on mutual respect and trust, things that are not automatically included in a bond.

Lemony is the second person to tell her it is not her fault.

Over the next month, volunteers stop by and tell Jacquelyn their own soulmate stories. They speak of connections, betrayals, and new starts. The schism, life, children, ambition, couples can be pulled apart by all sorts of things. Couples that stayed together through all kinds of things.

Each of them tells Jacquelyn it is not her fault.

The last two people to tell her Jacquelyn are Kit Snicket and F. Widdershins.

Jacquelyn remembers judging both women for destroying their bonds. In the worst of her despair, she despised them. That they freely gave away what Jacquelyn would have given almost everything to keep.

She is filled with shame now.

Kit talks about being in love since she was twelve. She talks about the connections she made and the problems and schemes she and her soulmate faced together. She talks about the moral descent she saw occur. She speaks accidentally delivering the weapon that tipped Olaf over the edge. She talks about how hard the decision was, how lost she felt, and how she knows she made the right decision because Olaf would have destroyed her with his affections, never his fists.

F. talks about the divide. She speaks of when the soulmate bond was just not enough. When the emotional games her soulmate played turned to violence. She talks about leaving her soulmate with a young son and finding out how complete she was without him. She talks of a friendship that turned to love. She talks about sending divorce papers. She speaks of being held tightly on her wedding night, as she dissolved the bond.

They talk of having to separate themselves from the traits of their soulmates.

They both speak of new loves. Loves that accept them for who they are, a whole person.

Jacquelyn finds some peace.

They still communicate. They know how to find each other. Jacquelyn will share her frustrations with her boss or pride in a new skill, and her soulmate will sometimes send Jacquelyn bits of delight and encouragement.

Jacquelyn builds a life. She falls in love several times and out of love as well. She fights literal and figurative fires.

She finds a place she belongs and builds a life.

She is a whole person, but now and then she remembers to think fondly of 667 Dark Avenue.  


End file.
